Do you wonder why some people seem to experience the same situations repeatedly? Whether it is unsatisfying relationships, depressed moods, anxiety driven behaviours, excessive behaviours, low self-esteem. This can happen because of our “schemas” and their associated self-defeating patterns that keep going until something is done to change them.
What is Schema Therapy?
Schema therapy was started by Jeffrey Young and is an integrative psychotherapy designed for longstanding and complex problems. It can help you change sabotaging thinking patterns, unhelpful behaviour habits and emotional reactions that cause you distress or problems. It is a structured and active form of therapy. A key aim is to build a shared awareness and understanding of your difficulties and then make changes in the way you relate and interact with other people and yourself. There is a strong focus on current difficulties. But we also use information about your past (including the origins of difficulties in childhood) to create changes and transform old ways of behaving, thinking or relating to others. All of this is done within an emotionally restoring therapeutic relationship.
What are Schemas?
A schema is a framework or lens through which people interpret situations, other people’s and their own behaviours and make predictions about the world. It is a long-lasting pattern of being that includes behaviours, memories, emotions, thoughts, and body sensations. Schemas usually start in childhood and are strengthened throughout adolescence and adulthood. A schema includes beliefs about yourself and relationships with others which determine how we respond to situations. Here are some examples: “something bad is going to happen to me”, “everything always goes wrong”, “I’m a failure”, “no-one can help me”, I’m ugly, ”I’m not good enough”, “they won’t want someone like me” . These schema beliefs develop because of bad childhood experiences. The way a person copes with the schemas can lead them to have negative thinking or feelings about themselves or make unhelpful choices in life such as engaging in unfulfilling or toxic relationships, using excessive or avoidance behaviours.
Some common schemas include:
Defectiveness - when you have a sense that you are bad, inferior, flawed and just not good enough compared to other people.
Emotional Deprivation - you feel "on your own" and that no-one will ever understand you or care about your needs.
Mistrust/Abuse - an expectation that other people will let you down, betray you, physically or emotionally hurt you, or take advantage of you.
Social Isolation - you feel like you are different or that you just don't fit in or belong as part of a group or community.
Abandonment - a sense or expectation that relationships won't last and partners or friends might reject you or leave you.
Schemas are often not in conscious awareness – they are hidden - we can’t see them. They do not reveal themselves until they get triggered in response to events. We are often unaware of our schemas, having beliefs that we never question which just seem familiar and comfortable. Schemas guide how we expect others to behave (based on our predictions from the schema) and how we read other people’s behaviours. I.e., we interpret other people’s behaviour from our schemas. This leads us to filter our view of situations and events, changing their meaning to confirm our schema beliefs and expectations. Schemas do not want to change, and they remain strong, even when given contradictory evidence. Also, when our schemas become activated, we can overreact to situations or get stuck in self-defeating patterns and behaviours.
For example, if you expect to be abused, mistreated, or let down due to your childhood experiences of people, the mistrust/abuse schema makes you look out for evidence that supports this view. It also filters the information, changing its meaning to fit or support your schema (e.g., a smile can be viewed as someone taking the mickey or trying to get one over on you). This may lead to trust issues and anxiety in adult relationships, often creating conflict, anger, and rejection, which then makes the schema stronger.
In another example, a child learned NOT to cry in childhood as he was punished or humiliated by his parents if he cried. This could create an emotional deprivation schema with beliefs and expectations that “it’s not okay to cry” and if you do cry, no-one cares or will support you. As an adult, a person with this schema may hold back their emotions or
In a third example, a child only received praise for achievement, and was often criticised, humiliated or blamed for everything that went wrong in a home, or treated differently to their siblings. This could create a defectiveness schema with beliefs and expectations that you are flawed, bad, pathetic, inferior, or unlovable. When this schema is triggered, common coping strategies are avoidance of situations/relationships, putting yourself down, ignoring positive feedback, selecting critical partners, or overcompensating by behaving in a superior/critical way to others. But sadly this ends up keeping the schema going as the person still feels not good enough, worthless, or unlovable.
not communicate that they are upset, feeling fearful or believing that something bad will happen if they do. Often, other people then respond to them as usual or as if nothing is wrong, leading to their emotional needs not being met or even noticed. They can then be left feeling upset possibly leading to conflict in their relationships. This experience of not being supported or receiving care confirms the schema’s prediction that it is not worth communicating emotions to others as no-one cares or tries to support you.
People often ask.....
How does Schema Therapy Work in practice?
Our goal in schema therapy is to empower or strengthen your healthy coping behaviours and minimise the unhealthy automatic habits or sabotaging behaviours that get activated and cause you or others distress. This requires noticing and understanding the patterns, identifying emotional needs that have not been met, receiving support within the therapy relationship, and then trying out new ways of responding to situations.
What happens in a schema therapy session?
The first 2-4 sessions will spend time getting to know you, and a bit about the problems you are experiencing and want help with. This involves identifying the schemas that are causing you difficulties and the effects that they have on you. We often link current problems to past difficulties and experiences.
Once we have agreed the goals or areas you want to work on, each session will focus on a particular goal and related schemas. Schema therapy uses a mixture of talking , exploring and more specific techniques such as chair work, imagery and behavioural pattern breaking. But it all begins with noticing and understanding how current issues have developed and exploring what keeps them going now. We then work on transforming old habits and behaviours and introducing new ways of doing things or challenging our old thinking.
Is Schema Therapy right for me?
Schema therapy is really useful for treatment of difficulties arising from childhood experiences of bullying, lack of emotional support, trauma, neglect, extensive criticism, and abuse. Typically, schemas underpin these types of difficulties. It can also help people recover from depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. Schema therapy is effective at helping people who have relationship difficulties, or struggle to build satisfying relationships with friends or partners. Schema therapy can also help you if you experience low mood, worry a lot, or have unwanted habits or addictions (e.g., binge eating, drinking, taking drugs, excessive gaming, shopping, sex, gambling), interpersonal problems, work stress, communication and psychosomatic problems
How long does Schema Therapy Take?
Schema therapy is a long-term approach which aims to change life-long patterns and habits. The length of therapy will depend on your goals, the nature of the difficulties you want to work on, and the time and energy you can put into therapy work between sessions.
At the end of the initial assessment (usually 2-4 sessions) an initial number of sessions will be agreed with you. This will then be reviewed, and further sessions agreed if required. It is highly recommended to commit for at least 20 sessions.
To find out more about Schema Therapy – I highly recommend reading the following book available from Amazon :- “Reinventing Your Life” by Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko. A helpful book full of interesting examples of schemas (referred to as life traps) in operation.
I also recommend the “Client’s Guide to Schema Therapy” by Dr David Bricker & Jeffrey Young, a more technical explanation of schema therapy which can be found on the internet.
